Being a Tantric life coach consists of helping clients to find their kinky persona and their courage to explore with my help and guidance. I called this entry Taco night because in Japan/ese たこ means octopus and has a historical sexual association from Ukiyoe prints and has also been featured as the gluttonous vag sucking monster in anime and manga in the 21st century. This weekend I went on a very challenging venture to shop and style my client for his first kink party in Tokyo. This particular Kink party, The Gate has a strict dress code and doesn’t allow people in the door if they come in non fetish clothing. My client is actually the one who told me about this party and told me that he really wanted to go. He had been interested in the kink scene for some time and had gone to the no dress code soiree event that the organizer had planned before hand so that he could get his feet wet. He and I had worked together on many different session activites and this was the first time that he was exploring kink with me. I have taken clients to sexy parties as their coach, this has included taking them to play parties where they have not played with me but have observed me in action playing with others (I typically do not have intercourse with clients). At a kink party, I take on the role of dominant goddess and guide which can include education, ritual, BDSM play and guidance. This client has never really been in the kink scene and did not know the first thing about how to dress or not dress. I dressed up in drag as a bearded cos play prince to another fetish party in Tokyo called Dept H and I was charged 4000 yen, which was the streetwear (highest) door price even though I was clearly in costume. Apparently being a drag king prince wasn’t kinky enough for the door bitch, so I kept that standard in mind while picking out clothes for the sub.
The first part of our session activities of the month, we went to a shibari rope tying workshop together and he modelled for my rope tying and through being a model he was able to explore being a bottom for our activities in that class. A couple weeks later the Gate party was happening. I am from San Francisco and LA where fetish shopping can be done in 2 hours flat just by visiting two shopping streets which have a plethora of stores loaded with fetish gear and costumes for men and women to shop. In Tokyo, stores for this kind of thing are far walks or train rides apart and on this night 2 of them were totally out of business as was listed on the Gate website, so walking around with our Google map was just creating sore feet and fatigue. The famed Harajuku shopping district didn’t really carry appropriate BDSM stuff for this event, most of the stuff I found was more goth looking (collars and plaid/lacy stuff; they had furry costumes, masks and rabbit ear headgear but there was nothing too sexual on Takeshita street that I could combine with the furry stuff to make it really qualify for a fetish party without stretching the imagination. We walked from Harajuku to Shibuya and looked for the 2nd closed for business shop and finally ended up, tired and hungry at this general goods discount store that sells everything from camping gear to lingerie called Don Quixote. Donki has cos play stuff, but you can’t just show up in a ninja outfit at a kink party and think that was going to cut it, plus the sub had these orange sneakers and was thinking that he could just wear those. “Have you never been to a club in Japan?” I asked. “You usually can’t wear sneakers as a guy to a lot of places these days.” I told him. Fetish and kink scenes are all about rubber and PVC, high heels and sexual symbolism. “What’s the difference between goth and fetish?” he asked. “Goth clothes can be for high school students,” I said. “But you can’t go to the high school dance in a red PVC cat suit or a dangling strap on. Fetish clothes are more sexual.” I explained. Donki saved the day because of my creative styling and the fact that they had some shiny vinyl and hilarious costumes. The two head costumes that were appropriate were the squid and octopus which were made of shiny material. If we just combine these sea creatures with some fish nets and rip it up, voila you’re a CATCH! literally! By the time we spent over 5 hours shopping and trying to figure out the subs outfit, I finally put together something I was really proud of: Taco night. Or…たこナイトas it would be in Japanese.
Tako is how you octopus in Japanese. The sub fit his body into a Ladies M size body stocking and found some black rubber galoshes to replace his orange sneakers. The tutu skirts that they stocked actually fit him and we were soon on our way to the cash register with the perfect outfit for the night. The problem was that, even though he was prepared to pay for my outfit for the night too that I had focused on styling him as the main priority so I didn’t have an outfit for me at the end of this mission and I was too exhausted to keep shopping. I didn’t want to spend his money on things that weren’t totally to my liking. Since moving to Japan, I didn’t have a fetish outfit in my possession since I had given away so many of my fabulous outfits and costumes from LA to move across the globe to Japan with 2 suitcases. So, instead of shopping til I dropped of more exhaustion, I dropped onto the subs hotel bed with a bottle of wine and actually sent him to the party without me. My work was done, another successful session. He made it to the party and had a fabulous time. I will still get my outfit bought, but I realize that buying off the internet ahead of time is the way to go for most sane people in Japan because it isn’t Hollywood Blvd here and trying to fight the usual masses of people in Tokyo to shop for obscure things is just terribly impractical. Plus both the sub and I hate shopping for long periods of time and are terrible with directions and navigation. Despite this, we still got along quite well throughout all of our session activities with no hitches or bumps aside from being unable to find decent fetish clothing in Tokyo.
Tantra coaching tests your relationship skills. I am something like a temporary girlfriend experience for your psychological wounding. If shopping causes you to freak out, all of that will come out during our session work and that will actually become the flesh of our session not the shopping for the party. My sexuality coaching can look many different ways, sometimes more spiritual and sometimes incorporating a totally different side of my expertise which isn’t so directly spiritual. My work is to help a client explore and grow in ways that they hadn’t thought to do before. Expansion and release. Masculine and feminine. Dominance and submission. These are all energetic principles that are included in Tantra teachings and this kind of coaching sessions is more modern life/sex coaching than Tantra for sure. My practice is diverse as my experiences and expertise are. I can help you too rise into your greatest self someday. Let’s discuss.